Proverbs 1:8; John 14: 1-7- “A Mother’s Basic Task”
As a preacher we have moved a few times in our lives, but
not nearly as much as some minister’s families. But one of the first tasks we
had was to find a home, and then make sure the kids knew how that this was our
home. We’d get them to memorize the new address and the new phone
number. It is important to know not where the old home was, but where our real
home is. That is true for each one of us. I think a mother’s primary task is
to tell children where home is.
Jesus said that he goes to heaven to prepare a place for us.
That where he we may be also. There’s plenty of room there. You have to know
the way home. Mothers, do your children know the way home? Have you told
them where the real, permanent home is.
Now, some may have accused Jesus of being morbid. In fact, his
disciples did. Peter said (right after Jesus commended him for calling him the
“Christ the Son of the Living God”), may you never die, Lord. Jesus called
Peter “Satan” just for not wanting to think about his dying. Peter wanted to
just think about the moment. Peter enjoyed Jesus’ presence with him now, in this
life. But Jesus knew that was naïve.
Jesus liked this life. He was a man who was at peace in this
life- one of the only ones who ever was at total peace here. He said He came to
give us the abundant life and give it to the fullest. Eternal life was a word
that didn’t begin after you died, but it implied that eternal life begins as
soon as you believe and recognize life as it should be. But Jesus knew this
life wouldn’t last forever- for any of us. He also knew that the cross was
before Him, but the cross was not the end. This world was not his home. He was
just passing through- like going on a trip. A nice trip. There may be places
we go that we enjoy, and we hate leaving, but it is not really our home.
Oftentimes we confuse not having to cook, clean, do the yardwork or answer the
phone with paradise. We are like a people who have confused our temporary
shelter with our home. But the Bible says its like comparing living in a tent
to living in a mansion. We can get used to a tent. We can get comfortable
here. But tents are never permanent. They start having problems eventually.
We spend a lot of effort and time in our society fooling
ourselves that this life will go on forever. It has especially gotten worse
since we have extended the life expectancy. The average person 100 years ago
lived until they were 45, today it’s pushing 80. Before the 1940s there was a
very real danger every time a child was born. Today there is still a danger,
but it is really contained. We’ve almost doubled the time we live here. Most
in our culture grow old. We have been blessed.
We try to play down aging. We use makeup, contacts or laser
surgery, botox, wrinkle cream, yoga and exercise, dentures, hair color to keep
aging away from us. 33% of Americans- that is 77 million do not have life
insurance and one in four (25%= 57 million) do not think they need it. I know
there are people who have more money than the insurance companies- but that’s
about 1% not 25%. Actually life insurance is really death insurance. But we
don’t like the “D” word. We change many words to avoid thinking of death. So
“cemetery” becomes “Memorial Park.” “undertakers” are now “funeral directors”;
“death certificate” is now “vital information card”; Woody Allen has the
famous quote, “It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there
when it happens.”
We used to teach our children to pray:
“Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.”
Millions were taught that prayer when they were little for about 400 years it
was the primary bed-time prayer. John Ortberg says that the reciting of this
prayer has decreased a lot over the last fifty years. I was taught that prayer.
There was another verse on the original that was left out of my generation’s
prayer:
“Our days begin with trouble here, our life is but a span,
And cruel death is always near, so frail a thing is man.”
We want to surround our children with security and protect them
not only from harm, but also from thinking any bad thoughts at all. But we
mothers and fathers are deceived if they really think they can shield their
children from the hard things of life. Ernest Becker wrote a book called “The
Denial of Death” in which he said that we arrange our lives around
ignoring, avoiding, repressing the most irrefutable fact in the world which is
that we’re going to die. The desire to deny death is the reason for our
workaholism, and obsession with security. I would say that 9-11 heightened that
obsession with security and focus on this life. How many millions take off
their shoes, open their bags, throw out their knives and shampoo in the name of
security since 9-11. The recent false-scare about swine flu can be added
to other recent false scares like “the bird/avian flu”, “mad cow disease”.
Philip Yancey writes that our very response to the reality of death is a signal
that we were created for something more. The Bible says that God has put
“eternity in our hearts.” That is, deep down inside we know that this is not
all there is. This world is not as it should be. There is something more.
One of the primary tasks of parents is to make sure the kids are
prepared for the long haul. Parents sacrifice almost everything to give
their children a college education. They do this because they think
this is one thing they can give their children for the long haul. Giving them
the opportunity to get a good job and possibly retire some day. But we also
need to see there is another gift we need to pass on to our children and perhaps
our grandchildren and that is our faith. There is only one thing that can
conquer the grave and that is the one who gave us life itself. We are to be
priests to our children. A priest stood between God and humans. He prayed
to God on behalf of the people, and told the people about God. We are to pray
for our children, and tell them about God.
My oldest daughter made a picture- I brought it today, It says,
“Home is where your Mom is.” That is partially true. I know there have
been many in our congregation whose mothers have died in the last few years, and
many more have thought going into this Mother’s Day- how long will we have her
around. There is a more permanent home. Good mothers tell their children
where the real home is. They don’t try to let them wander around and find it,
they show them, and point them and draw maps for them to get there. For
Christians, home is where Jesus is. He says, I go to prepare a place for
you that where I am you also may be.
One of the great gifts you can give your children is
perspective. It is called wisdom. Solomon was the wisest man in the world
and he said, “vanity, vanity (or meaningless meaningless) all is vanity.” Our
pleasures end. All the things we have earned end. Our sports and movies and
music gets old. I was talking to a young person and they were saying, “that
praise song is five years old- that is ancient.” After a year now, the best
music is mothballed. There are so many songs now compared to thirty years ago,
that we are getting numb to them. All the trophies you have are going to be in
an attic one day- and maybe eventually destroyed. The greatest baseball players
of a hundred years ago are not remembered. Epictetus said, “This is our
predicament. Over and over again, we lose sight of what is important and what
isn’t.” A leader’s first task is to define reality. Parent’s that is your task
as well. If you are shielding your children from facing the music, from paying
the consequences of your bad behavior with your influence or your money, then
you are not helping your children- you are doing them a disservice.
John Ortberg has a great book entitled, “When the Game is
Over It All Goes Back in the Box.” He talks about his grandmother,
and the impression she made on him that material things were not the most
important thing. She played monopoly a lot with him, and she would not get
upset if she lost her hotels or property. He said she had taught him how to
play, and he became really good. He financially destroyed her. He had won, had
proved his ability, his cleverness, his intelligence, his strength. He was more
ruthless than anyone else. He had won. He had taken her last dollar. But then
she said, “Now it all goes back in the box.” All those hotels, all that
property was gone- the game was over. The temptation is to think the game will
go on forever, but it does not. But that is okay- this world is not our home.
We are strangers here, pilgrims here. We are on vacation here. I can remember
when my kids would go to a party and not want to leave. They’d say, “But I
don’t want to go!” I’ve seen some kids fall down on the floor and have to be
carried out kicking and screaming. But it wasn’t their home. They had to be
taught. God is teaching us, and He wants us to teach our children, where the
real home is. Jesus is there- waiting. It is better than anything here. There
are no more tears, mourning, or death. God wipes our tears away, and there is
peace fulfilled, joy immeasurable. This tent is not our home, the mansion is.